Browse
Shopping Cart

15 Things I Would Change About California

15 Things I Would Change About California

The Cost

If I want to buy a house in California, in a neighborhood I like, where the people I love are currently living, it's going to cost me over a million dollars. WHAT?! Yes, it's crazy. However, we can always hope for a natural disaster to bring those prices down!

More rain

This is a serious one. California in dehydrating to the point of no return. We've manipulated our planet to the point of exhaustion, and we should be managing it better. No more green lawns, definitely no more swimming pools, and ten minute showers for the win.

Slightly warmer water  

When it can still reach over a hundred degrees in the winter, you'd think that our water would play along. Some of us would be more inclined to venture out into the ocean if it felt like bathwater, so why can't climate change just hurry up!

Snow on the hilltops

This sort of goes along with the whole “more rain” section. What I love about California is that you can surf in the morning, and allegedly go skiing in the evening, but that doesn't happen any more. Thanks to the drought, our mountaintops are empty, leaving a vast gap in our ecosystem and our hearts.

Less bears

Bears are scary. Bears are literally the scariest things in the whole world. Forget extremism, or humans being crazy, I'd rather meet a nutter in a dark alleyway than a bear!

Make it illegal to abandon pets

When Quentin (nicknamed Cretin, for how crazy he is) showed up in my life, I felt like he filled a gap I never knew was missing. He was so small and malnourished, and we're still taking him back and fore to the vets for check ups. The thought that someone out there had owned this animal, and then allowed it to disappear without so much as a post on Facebook, disgusts me. Shame on you, whoever you are!

Shorter line at In-N-Out

Costco on the westside of LA also plays host to In-N-Out. Until they fixed up the entry, it was a clusterf... cars would be lined up all the way down the block to get into this delicious burger heaven. I have never, ever seen less than five people/cars in front of me at In-N-Out. If you're visiting, it's definitely worth the wait.

More live music (cheaper)

Great Good Fine Ok are playing the Troubadour in January. They are a relatively new band out of New York, and are absolutely fantastic. The cost of their tickets? $12, plus a booking fee. Perfect. I'd have paid $45 to see them! It's a neat venue, with great sound, and a history that lines the walls. However, I would not pay $145 dollar for a booth at the Hollywood Bowl to see Weird Al. That is extortionate... so I got my buddy Karl to give me a ticket for free.

Less chance of a tsunami

As a geographical scientist, I know how easy to predict an earthquake. By “easy” I mean impossible, and by “predict” I mean have a rough idea of maybe potentially guestimating the likelihood. You can't predict earthquakes, and you cannot say that we are “overdue”. All we have to do is sit here and wait to die.

More days off (in order to spend at the beach)

I truly believe that Americans work harder than any other nation on the planet. I don't just mean this in terms of physical work, but mental work too. As a new country, America still has something to prove and they're doing it amazingly. Sure, it might just be my experience down here in the little Liberal bubble of California, but I honestly think Americans work harder than any other race. However, I wouldn't mind being able to take a few more days off, as well as letting my friends do the same.

No earthquakes

See above. They suck. They're scary. I want my mummy!

Another Getty!

Two just isn't enough. In a recent chat with one of the original architects of the Getty Centre, I realized that Californians need more outlets for their art (as if we don't have enough). We need places to see Banksy that are free, and won't be taken down by the local council. We deserve widespread availability of international and historical works that are endlessly beautiful. Another Getty is just one option, right?

Monster Munch availability (British potato chips)

There are a wealth of foods that did not make the transition from the UK to America, and these beautiful pieces of puffy stinky lovely are just one of them. Along with Monster Munch, are Fish and Chips (and don't lie and say that America has fish n' chips, because you don't), a full Sunday Roast, Green Pot Noodle, Lucozade, Marmite, a proper cup of tea, and a great Indian curry!

The stigma against Budweiser

I know, I know, I know, it's almost as bad as Pacifico – which I also love – but I like Budweiser. It's cheap, it's cheerful, it does the job. I never really drink any more, just because I have so my work to do, so sometimes I want to treat myself to crap!

Traffic
GO AWAY, 405! You're just the worst. Ergh.


    22 comments

    • Some of the items listed are plain and simple stupid. Did you know that there is an early warning system for Tsunamis. Update: Animals were there before people moved in the area. Maybe you to redo your rediculous list.?‍⚕️? ?

      Lissah on
    • “American” is not a race.

      Dawn DeBois on
    • Less people & traffic.
      No Liberals or illegals.
      Affordable housing.
      The CA that I was born and raised in has been destroyed.

      Glenn Hamilton on
    • After reading several of the articles, it’s pretty clear from many of the articles on this Facebook page

      Are either computer generated by Artificial Intelligence/Machine Learning (AI) or they are written by someone who is self-learning English who isn’t a native speaker and hasn’t had any formal training in English.

      These are the two most probable explanations for the repeated patterns of grammar errors found in these articles.

      I’m actually leaning towards auto-generation because the various types of grammar errors happen in an almost predictable pattern across the various articles and are common types of errors in many off-the-shelf State of the Art auto-generation algorithms.

      I applaud whoever created the AI agent (if it ends up being AI) as it’s fairly skillful since most English speakers assumed it’s a human with bad English skills as opposed to an AI agent.

      That being said, it feels quite disingenuous to auto-generate articles without alerting the readers.

      Unliking your FB page.

      Diivanand Ramalingam on
    • Is take back Northern California Sac and above from all that’s been pillaged from the nasty Bay Area f-tards.

      Anastasia Jo Waggoner on


    Leave a comment